save the wild... and the queen

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
delirious-comfort
majesticduxk

So last week I tried moaning every time I ate something delicious.

It was vaguely uncomfortable and unnatural

soupernabturel

I actually love the idea of doing this trying out fanfic/literary cliche’s out in real life, kinda wanna make up a list and undertake it as a challenge.

whitmerule

don’t forget to make your butthole flutter today

hazeldomain

Guess someone’s eye color from 20 feet away.

prairiedust

Be careful with these. I started reading fanfiction three years ago and now I have to toe my shoes off to get my feet out.

hazeldomain

But do you pad across rooms? 

prairiedust

Yes but I often give away my position when I huff.

mittensmorgul

FYI, I’m smirking at all y’all.

k-vichan

I’m resisting the urge to card my fingers through everybody’s hair.

dorkilybeautiful

This is as good a time as any to admit that right now I smell like coffee, sandalwood soap, and something uniquely myself.

lockedinjohnlock-podfics

Ah, but are you holding a breath you are unaware of?

green-violin-bow

I just stretched lazily and showed a strip of pale skin where my t-shirt rode up but there was no-one here to stare at it, speechless, so I don’t know if it even counted

love-in-mind-palace

I sigh thousand times a day. Hope that is enough.

221bloodnun

I was forced to tear my eyes away, yet drawn toward this by my body’s own volition.

sleepingexplorer

i have ghosted my fingertips across countertops, along my own jawline, down the curtains’ edges. i am ghosting them across the nape of your neck, right now.

madlori

My tongue is battling for dominance, but there’s nobody else here so it’s just squaring off on a Starbucks cup. The cup doesn’t stand a chance.

madnanc

This whole thread feels like home.

delirious-comfort

smile but don’t let it reach your eyes

xxtorchxx
fire-is-her-water

My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.

When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.

merak-zoran

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Originally posted by haidaspicciare

abracataako

What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!

fire-is-her-water

I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D

She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:

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Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”

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I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.

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New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night: 

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She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.

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And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.

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ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe

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vogueparrilla
albertothechihuahua

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this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

jaxblade

ehh what the hell

jaxblade

OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amount……

WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD

jaxblade

yooooo

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..

OH MY GOD

OH MY F*CKIN GOD

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THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!! 

Im Going to reblog this every day to test this, its MAGIC ITS FRIGGIN MAGIC 

bluhippy

I need to believe in the heart of the post…

perlexnoire

Oh? Well… *reblag*

sakuyandere

i reblogged this and now my uncle is giving me 250 to dye my hair nani the fucko

qslay

I have nothing to lose

stoicdaydreamer

my palm was itchin today not riskin it

astripperstory

I always reblog the money posts cause I can’t afford not too lol

brownsugargeisha

It works. I just got $300 for no reason.

thecrybabbles

Money dog is my friend

yeaimcoollikethat

Money dog is the shit

anttom2016

I believe in the money dog😀

princedhunglow

I believe in the money 🐶

cosmic-noir

Bless me pls money pup 🙏🐕

schrodingers-child

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Just woke up 🙌🏿

totheonedegree

Pplease😭🙏🏽

marvelismylife

Doing this again because last time I reblogged this I got $50

beep-beep-richie-trashmouth

y’all I have $88 in my account I need all the help I can get